Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Insight from Paris Lockett

Paris Lockett is one of writing clubs new members of the 10'-11' school year. She attends the Military Academy and so far has shown great depth and soul in her writing. So much so that we wanted to highlight one of her free write activities. She would like to make it clear that this is a piece of fiction.

Untitled, by Paris Lockett.

Now here we go with this again. The thought of love invading my soul. Love. Man, it's over and done with. No motivation for me to continue on drowning in this vast ocean of uncertainty. I wish I could get out of here....

That's how I was feeling once upon a time. I begged and tried for the feeling to dismiss. No more love for me. Because my one true love, the one that said he would always have my back no matter what, left me for dead. And since, my life has spiraled down.

Dad? Daddy? Where are you? My pleas and cried go unheard to dismantled ears. Mom took me to the funeral but her significance of being present angered me. All I wanted, as any young child does, was love and a relationship with the man that birthed her into existence. But it don't matter, struggle will make me better. Now I'm soul searching. But my haunt is finna stop because no young guy can replace my heart, my DADDY.

I hate when people say stupid things in regards to him. Every will and strength I have, you're outta here. Wow, to actually get this out is both hard and unbearable. Sure, I have people who've been there for me. But, SO?? Deep down inside, my heart only yearns for him. Now I feel like crying because unfortunately, I do really miss him.

But the pain grows and the distance has deepened. God it hurts. Let the pain dismiss. If pops was here, I wouldn't be fat. My boyfriend and I would have more in common and that awkward feeling I get around him and his parents would cease. These green military clothes I wear cover the true colors that blind my life.


Amy D said...

Heartbreaking. Grief put into words that clench the soul. I hope this young woman learns to honor her father's memory by doing good things in his memory, with thoughts, like, "Dad, I know you would be so proud of me when I... because I remember you telling me how cute I was when I ... " Tie the good memories to good deeds and have a ritual, like whenever giving a tip to someone, to whisper in her heart, "This is for you, Dad! Thank you for giving me life and the time we did have together."

Shannyn, you might tell her privately that your Mom was only 7 when she lost her wonderful Dad after a 9 month struggle with throat cancer. Terrible poverty, some of the younger brothers & sisters at home were put in a Catholic shelter for a while till our Mother could get a job & get them home. I was 19 and married with a baby on the way. Terrible time to lose our Dad. There is never a good time. But anger can do a lot of damage.

Marlin said...

Wonderful writing. She evolves heartfelt experiences in a sensibly way. I applaud the young woman.

Mischuh said...

I totally agree with both of you ladies. She is a remarkable young lady with great writing abilities. Channeling anger into positivity can do wonders for the soul.